"There's nothing like a dirty look from the one you want"

Have gotten so far, and yet still not even close.

The night wasn't young anymore and she kept holding him so hard he might even bruise. There wasn't a way he could possibly be missing all these, the sings were loud and clear. Or were them more like a scream of desperation?

Anticipation did always had the habit to set you up, was this night going to end according to it?

Time was about to tell, but the possibilities seemed thinner by the hour.

She kept pondering all her options, she could give up and go home; save her self from being an stubborn fool or she could of course stay and await for whatever it could come.

There were always two kind of endings to a story like that, either she went home by herself or accompanied. 

At this point there was only how much she could do, she felt slightly embarrassed and foolish.

Insecurely she mumbled to him - "I'm sorry, it's late and I should go home".

He looked at her with a puzzled face and completely disregard her wish. Instead he grabbed her by the arm and excitingly said "C'mon lets get going! ".........

[................................]

The moment had come, he was holding her by the shoulders and she was holding him by his waste.  Regardless 

of the hight difference, both of them managed to perfectly wrap their arms around each other.

She faced him, and he was carefully staring at her. She noticed it, and blushed. Out of nervousness, like a little girl she  quickly turned away and then realized; she had been awaiting for this moment all night  and when it happened, it still took her by surprise. 

She knew that liking someone like that, would always come along with "the moment". She lunged for it, she could control it but yet again neither her or anyone could ever predict how it will happen.

Gracefully, she turned back to him. She faced him and his gaze was still fixed on her, the softness of his eyes 

were melting on hers. He started at her lips as he got closer and closer to her, his eyes shut and approached her

her distance, making an inch away from a kiss.

Suddenly everything turned deaf around her, the loud surrounding noises were mute and all it matter was the 

unexplainable electricity running through her body. 

Until it stopped, she open her eyes and his smile was warmly receiving hers.

All we ever do is say goodbye

The unbearable need to get out of the car struck. The doors of the vehicle had been opened and their passengers where stepping one by one outside.
Clearly she wasn't coping with the lack of sleep and neither with the situation. It was 4:00 am and all what her tiered eyes could perceive were his jumper in her legs and him standing outside helping her friend.
For all she know THIS, was potentially the last time she will ever see him. Everyone had been dreading this goodbye for hours and now, ever since they all impulsively gone into a road trip, perhaps they were able to escape the nostalgic thoughts of saying goodbye for the last couple of hours, but that moment had become a reality and the reality was standing in front of them.

The car was parked aside the road, close the airport. The chilly air made them all put their warm clothing on. This time was hard for her, not only was she disappointed at him, but once again she will be left full of regrets, what-if's and the worst thing, she would not be certain when would she ever see him again. Time could be months, weeks maybe years or never. Never would be meaning they all become ex-summer lovers, from that crazy time.
What she was most afraid was his reaction, what if the only thing he wanted to do is throw them off and get back home as soon as possible or have a romantic goodbye with her friend in front of her eyes.
Neither would be good scenarios for her to leave with a dear memory.

She stepped lastly out of the tow door car. By that time her friend had rapidly taken her lodge and had said goodbye to them, her friend was hurrying to get as soon as possible into the terminal and check in. Suddenly she realized this was truly her once again good bye time.

As expected, she hugged all of the other boys first with a truly thankful hugh. Next came him, he was awaiting. Hand in his pocket, looking at the ground. This time he went for her, he grabbed her tightly, as tough he knew as well what all had happened, and that their next time together will be unknown.

As the were holding, he looked into her eyes, a kiss would be inappropriate at this point. She had now lost the count how many times, they had stood so close staring into each other eyes, and so many times ending in a laugh or a sentence, this time was not be different, he boldly said under his breath;
- Remember we did this just a week ago?

The instant memory came back to her, and blushed. She knew that was their little secret and thats why he had said it so surreptitiously.

Inches away from a kiss, she stepped back and as her friend took off. As he entered the terminal doors, she took a turn and just saw an empty cold road.

Random Access Memories

Its early in the morning, and I'm attached to my computer screen watching a random collection of videos as I came across a the most random, one; where a car pulled off at a petrol station in London, the scene its quite tribal, but this particular scene flashed me back to the following:
A bunch of 19 year olds, driving through London making their way to the Gatwick airport. They had already four hours travel behind them and where looking to a couple more, traveling across busy London on a Sunday night.
The road trip contained the perfect elements, three boys, two girls, english grounds and a love triangle, which lead to an emotional trip.
The petrol scene its absolutely irrelevant to the any of the important events that occurred during this road trip. Tough its relevant enough that this video-clip brought me back immediately to this memory:

The humid , not cold but summer chilly air and kept slipping into the car through the slightly opened windows, the same ones that reflected the exciting londoner nightlife, the city lights were just sparking and splashing the glass of the window car, almost like a carrousel would do to your eyes, especially after crossing Convent Garden and some other proper busy London streets, leaving us with the wanting more of it, even tough the thought of stepping outside the car and enjoying it ,was unthinkable, our time was limited, a flight needed to be catch and time couldn't be wasted.
On the late hours of Sunday, the car pulled to aside in order to get the necessary petrol to make it to the airport flight. Departures are always emotional, so maybe thats the reason why this moment stands up in my mind.
Time was enough to refuel , so we stopped, our driver stepped out of the 5 person vehicle and the other two boys followed to refuel their hunger cravings;
Boys re-enter the car , driver and copilot take their seats and so does he.

-See I bought Oreos and this mag, dunno why but, Hey that's bloddy Harry Styles!!!

-He looks so good, who is he with!!!????

- Wait, you think Harry Styles is hot?

- Yes!, look at him!

-Cause' you've been saying an awful lot, I look like him

*silence*

-Can I have an Cookie?

The trip continued with a goodbye playlist, aside from one of the girls, no one was asleep and yet they all were staring at different ways. Not knowing that indeed they all would part different ways, following perhaps each at one they were staring.

*No body said it was easy, its such a shame for us to part...*
Whispered the mellow music in the back of the car, and so the car continued drafting away from that petrol station, somewhere in London.

The best you ever had , its just a memory and those dreams....

Im going to start pretty abrupt this entry by stating that: I don‘t know what posses me and makes me have the urge to write lyrics!!!!!!

Sounds deep, but no it's not, the lyrics I‘m referring to are not my own, but the ALREADY made ones from songs, but its like a need I have, whenever I go through songs, there is always a song quote, that stands out and its just screaming and kind of begging me to write it down and ink it on anything.

I know, its ridic. but thats what I find my self doing right now, as a matter of fact; that‘s exactly the aim of this blog. To publish and get out of my system all the best song quotes I have in me.

It just so happens that, I relate to a lot of tunes, that wish i wrote myself, so I just kind of quote them, this has hunt me since I can remember, I have piles of high school notebooks and just notebooks having lyrics in different and 'creative' ways.

Never the less, I find myself stuck in 'coming to age' sort of songs type. Now coming into serious matters, getting older means you know more stuff but at the same time, its means you loose your naiveness, exactly one day after turning 21, I made good friends with a 17 year old, and just hearing him speak and articulate his hopes, dreams and expectations reminded me very much of me.  Up to that point, I had forgotten SO MANY things, its like as if, you get older and start to realize that some thing aren‘t quite as easy as you tought, and reality happens. It does, and then you forget them and go along with your life.

I need to imprint my lyrics NOW and somewhere, so hey, might as well do it in here.

To finish this, there‘s always a reason, why I listen to the songs I listen, aside from liking them , most of them provide me something to relate to, so there are bits of moments that cross my minde while listening a song. I always finde it more intreasting, when I don‘t say who‘s song is, so have a laugh trying to figure it out (so easy).

Sleepless Nights

Why do all the good things come to an end?,
As it is, Summer 2012 it's coming to an end, at leastin Hamburg, Germany....
And it's taking away , all those memories,
by far one of the bests summers of my life,so I can't help it, to open my window at 3 a.mand just keep staring at the stars in one of the lasts summer night skies.God knows when the stars would be seen in this town again,I've never notices how perfect the night is...
Will stare at it, until I can fall asleep...
Can we keep all those moments forever?
/Oh simple thing where have you gone???, I'm getting old and I need something to rely on/ - somewhere only we know
/So we talk about ourselves in hell, to forget the love we never felt...All the old jokes that work so wellUniversal truth was a moment's lie/ - Life is simpler in the moon light 

x stef

Life is an on going musical !

I have the crazy belief;

My life has been turned into a forever non-stop musical, why? ....

 Well just because there are never ending songs that go to my everyday life, and I don’t even mean it in the Broadway-style like, just sometimesJ, but it’s just the everyday playlist that goes with my life, when I’m singing the blues, there’s obviously songs to it, when I’m exercising, taking a walk, waiting at the station or just waking up in the morning run (classical Broadway situation), it just complete the mood.

And just as I’m writing this, I find myself doing it,  havingmy headphones on listening to, The Strokes – Vision of division, I need it, no doubt about it

So when I think about it, my life is indeed a musical, because as many times happens, our music choices represent what we are feeling, and it ends up as we having an infinite life playlist.

And I love it, choosing music just makes me happy, and effects everything in my life, like how I dress, or style things…

I’ll take you through my life(playlist), with my favoirite songs quotes, street-style. Love…etc

xx stef

“Sing me a song, you can be, Tell me a tale, just like me… All that I do is wait for you”